åileen: i think i suck in cello
teacher: don't say that
åileen: i think so
cher: thats what everybody thinks
cher: there is no way our playing be as good as we want it to be
cher: it is already a good thing that you know you are not perfect
cher: it is those who do not know that are screwed
åileen: thanks~
cher: dont push yourself too hard
cher: its not going to help if you do
åileen: true...
åileen: but i am still frustrated man...
cher: yea
cher: it happens to all musicians
cher: if you're not, then something's wrong
cher:haha
cher: but seriously
cher: you need time
cher: so dont push it
åileen: i think i already had a lot of time...
åileen: erm... it's probably due to lack of practice
cher: lol
cher: then you will have to act on it then

..... .... ... .. .

Oh well...

Orchestra will be performing on 12-13 July. This time round I'm not so sure about myself. Judging from the way I played last rehearsal, it was horrible.

To the max...

I can't count dotted rhythm while playing. And that song is so full of it... And the fingerings are so out of my 'comfort zone'... And my posture still needs improvement...

The list goes on...

At least my intonation has improved a little... But that's probably all.

. .. ... .... .....

Sorry to all for being emo after rehearsals sometimes, it's just me feeling frustrated at myself for not playing well enough.

It's mentally/emotionally/physically challenging being a musician...

But then again, the reward of playing music makes it all worthwhile.

Ok I must do some serious practise now... I MUST I MUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stupid Devil's Night Terror

 

So happy to have God in my life!!!

Thanks to Joe (during deliverance cg) and Elgin for praying for me regarding night terror. I used to be so scared at night when I'm alone at home... Scared that someone would pop out. Even little noises could freak me out. Heh.

To the extent where once I went up to my neighbour's house above just to make sure if they were the ones making the noises or was it something else...

But for the past night and tonight, I've been spending my nights alone at home and I AM/WASN'T SCARED ANYMORE!!! I could freely walk around my house now hehe.

Even when a light bulb fell down when I switched on the lights in the living room 2 nights ago... I could still sleep in peace!

I remember once I was playing piano and suddenly for no reason, one light bulb dropped behind me. IT FREAKED ME OUT LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, and I was alone at night then...

Stupid devil using the same trick again!!!!!!! BUT THIS TIME I'M NOT SCARED ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOW! Hahaha... So happy I'm not held captive by night terror anymore. Thank God for that!!! =)

Don't take too long to say "I love you" to the ones you love

Cos time has a habit of slipping away...

- Sun "One More Moment"

..... .... ... .. .

Went to nus to submit some admission forms... So happy man, finally settled. Every time I passed by the school in the expressway, I always wish I can study there because I always see people playing volleyball there and I wanna play there also Lol...

A lot of tennis courts too! Miss playing with my jc classmates... Though I am not good in it. Haha.

Hope I can be part of the piano and string ensemble too. Either one is fine. If I pass the audition for both then better still. But if I don't pass any audition then it's a sad thing. Don't know their standard though.

Anyway, still waiting for my course appeal result... If it's successful then I'll get into Arts and Social Science, if not then I'll stick to Nursing which I like too. At least something to do with the medical field...

And since it's a small faculty, we will 'hun' with people from Medicine and Dentistry. And I expect a lot of NERDS. Lots of them... Oh man...

I have some phobia for them but they are quite fun to bully. Haha. =X

. .. ... .... .....

Thank God for making a way... Believing for greater things on the way.

 

I discovered something today - to stop teardrops from rolling down your cheeks, we simply have to just focus on a spot (preferably on the ground). Long enough till it prevents us from thinking about everything else.

It works. But only temporary. Still, it's a useful skill in times of need, in times when it's inconvenient to cry.

Then again, hopefully you don't have to try it.

..... .... ... .. .

Sometimes, I wish I don't have way vivid imagination.

It can sometimes create senseless amusement much to people's bewilderment. (Maybe they just lack a sense of humour =P)

It can sometimes dramatize scenarios and magnify a seemingly small problem, bringing much unnecessary disappointments.

But I love my imagination. In the realm of my imagination, I can do many great things... I can be whatever I wanna be... And I can even fly. =)

. .. ... .... .....

I wish I can select some memories to be deleted. However, the irony is, the more we want to forget something, the longer it lingers in our mind.

And the sad thing is, I don't even have a good memory to start with, so why does my brain choose to remember things not worthy to be remembered...

                         ?

 

My dad just told me ytd that he called NUS 2 weeks ago to ask for my application status. I wasn't accepted. He didn't tell me then, but simply told me to find another school which I like.

And then a few days after he called, I received a letter of rejection from NUS. I went ...................

Felt that I've let down the people who have always believed in me.

Nevertheless, deep inside I refused to accept this and kept praying almost every night for God to turn things around. I didn't care if my family members heard me, I just PRAYED like there were only me and God in this world.

And so then out of the blue on Monday afternoon, I received a call from NUS asking me if I wanna accept their offer.

For with GOD, ALL things are POSSIBLE. AMEN.

..... .... ... .. .

Thanks to my dearest Elgin who has believed in me right from the start, and who was so cool when I told him the news. Way too cool, like he knew it long ago... Lol. Thank you for your countless encouragement and your "just-being-there"s even in times when you were already so tired from work...             

*You're irreplaceable*

Thanks also to Jeff, Meng Ching, Joe and CG and others for praying for me and thus made a difference in my life.

MENG CHING IS SUCH AN AWESOME FRIEND TO ME!!!!!!!!!!! One whom I can feel free to share my good and bad sides with, knowing that I will not be judged. Thanks for always teaching me a thing or two about life just by talking to you.

*Cheers!*

She's one of the few with no pretense, a very genuine person. A simple girl yet BIG on the inside. I'm ever so inspired by her love for God. You go girl!!!

W472 *New cg*! Nice nice. Had a lot of fun... Lol...

..... .... ... .. .

Headed down to SCH to support Marilyn in her SYCO concert....

 

Before concert

 

Finally saw his cello teacher, friendly and warm person who KEPT singing praises of him lol...

Marilyn and my cello teacher. *Pro pro*

Performance was great. SYCO combined power with SCO. Lol... Thought there'd be encore though.

At one point of the concert, a thought flashed through my mind...

"Is there even anything I can say I'm good in?"

Oh well...

 

Yay got Dist for Grade 5 music theory~ *Cheers* hahaha.. Ok la, it's probably not a big deal.

Orchestra prac was fine, but the attendance was quite bad though. Anyway, watch out for us! We'll be performing again in early July. Something different this time. Hehe.

Music is my life!!!

But I probably can't make it my livelihood.

Scouting for unis and courses now!!! Time is kinda tight...

Narrowed down to 2 options - Biomedical or mass comm.

(^;^)v

The search begins!!!

..... .... ... .. .

Piano exam's coming up SOON! Probably just 4 more lessons. Can't wait to get over Grade 5 and move on to Grade 7. Skip to save $ and time. The cert probably doesn't mean much anyway. But I must play my best.

Aiming for Piano Dip.

. .. ... .... .....

I CAN'T STAND BEING STAGNANT. The lack of knowledge is killing me inside out.

Wonder how working adults survive.

?!?!?!

..... .... ... .. .

Da said praying is addictive!!! How true! Since 1st June I've been looking forward to go home and spend time with God in my room!

I'm lovin' it!!!

Reminiscence

 

Some songs make me nostalgic. Some have the strange ability to walk me down historic paths, back to life when it seemed almost perfect, almost like a dream which didn't exist.

Remnants of memories flashed as if on a faulty recorder tucked neatly in a corner of my heart.

Of which some are like photographs of silently captured moments stored in you. Others, short vivid video clips which steal away every smile.

Well whatever it is, it's good to dig out that faulty recorder once in a while and watch the world's best drama - your life.

 

ADAM! My ex-cg member. So cute lol...

..... .... ... .. .

When my hope seems out of sight,

I KNOW You'll shine Your light.

 

 

The Real Final cg meeting...

With WEIWEN inside.

..... .... ... .. .

Celebrated my Dad's birthday @ Brunch @ Pan Pacific. Happy that he was happy.

Kept eating and forgot to take pictures!

So took at home...

Do we look alike? Lol,..

(^;^)v

A million thanks for being so encouraging and supportive of what I'm doing/wanna do. :)

. .. ... .... .....